According to IndianExpress, a new study claims that women
immerse themselves in their romantic relationships, while men place their
romantic partners on an equal but distant footing. This study shows that
generally, women appear to be more invested in their relationships than men and
that their happiness and well-being is more dependent upon how things are going
in their intimate relationships. Is this a surprise to you? It’s not a surprise
to me.
After all, who is usually the one who recognizes when things
in the relationship aren’t working too well? The woman. Who is it that
typically seeks professional help with the relationship? The woman. Who is it
that mostly spends time on sites, reading self-help books and going to seminars
about relationships? Women. Why is it this way?
Women are biologically wired to be the nurturers. They are
the ones with the skills to anticipate the needs of their partners, take care
of nurturing the relationship and do the problem solving when things have gone
awry. Men are more biologically wired to be the providers and protectors. It’s
not that the relationship isn’t important to them, it’s just that they show it
in different ways — by working hard, establishing a career and maintaining an
emotional distance.
You may ask yourself, “How can I change him? How can I make
him more involved in this relationship?” I say, you shouldn’t — so don’t even
try. InsideOut Empowerment tells us that we have five basic needs. We all have
them; the strength of each is unique to each individual and they appear to be
genetically programmed. That’s not to say that circumstances, culture, stage of
development and other factors don’t impact the experience of these needs, but
we are wired with a genetically determined profile that stays fairly stable
throughout our lives.
A relationship destroyer is looking at your partner,
deciding he/she is deficient in some way and then attempting to “make” him/her
different. It’s not that people can’t change; they can, it’s just that they
won’t do it just because you want them to change!
The simple fact is: men and women are different. They tend
to have different benefits in relationship but they are both interested in
intimacy. Young adult women tend to be most focused on their need for
connection. This manifests in having children, creating homes and nurturing
their intimate relationships. That’s not to say women don’t have careers. They
do, but most prioritize these connecting activities.
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